I’m not saying being me is good..

I’m not saying living in my life is splendid..

But, what I’m gonna say is just have a taste a little bit of my life and tell me how it really is..

Hear my story..

Spill if you want and swallow if you like..

Shaff-story..is a tale..a taste of me~shaff

Sunday, June 19, 2016


Allah dah janji. Doa-doa orang yang teraniaya itu makbul. Maka jika kau rasa kau teraniaya, berdoalah. Mudah-mudahan Allah setuju.

Tetapi atas dasar apa doa itu? Doa untuk membalas dendamkah? Doa untuk melihat keruntuhan diakah? Doa semoga dia sengsarakah?

Tidak. Bagi aku, sebaik-baik doa adalah ‘aku telah memaafkan kesalahan kau keatasku dan segala perbuatan kau keatasku dan semoga Allah juga  mengampunkan dosa-dosa yang telah kau lakukan keatasNya’.

Kerana apa? Kerana bagi aku Allah lebih tau apa yang terbaik untuk setiap hamba-hambanya. Allah lebih arif pembalasan apakah yang paling setimpal buat dia. Mungkin hati ini meronta untuk membalas dendam. Mungkin mulut ini paling senang untuk ucapkan ‘aku tak akan maafkan dia’. Tapi sampai bila?

Allah dah kata, kalau kau berbuat silap sesama manusia maka minta maaflah kepada manusia itu sendiri. Jika sehingga ke mati kau belum meminta maaf maka carilah dia untuk meminta maaf di akhirat kelak. Tapi, hendakkah kita menangguhkan perjalanan kita di akhirat kelak semata-mata kerana masih ada insan-insan yang tengah berusaha merangkak mencari kemaafan kita? Dia mungkin lambat ke tempat perhitungan kerana kesalahan dia tapi kau kena ingat, kau juga mungkin lambat kerana harus menantikannya. Berbaloikah?

Bagi aku, tidak. Kerana apa? Kerana biar sahaja Allah yang menghitung kesalahan dia. Kita bukan maksum. Kita hanya hamba Allah yang biasa. Maka sebaiknya biarlah dia bersuka ria meraikan kemenangannya di dunia ini selagi boleh. Kerana di akhirat kelak akan ada satu lagi perhitungan buat dia. Di situ, yang benar pasti benar dan yang salah pasti salah. Itu ketetapan Allah.

Sehingga hari itu datang. Maafkanlah dia dan bergembiralah. Allah tahu semua yang benar dan Allah tak akan pernah membiarkan yang salah itu berlalu pergi.

P/s: Janji Allah itu pasti. Yakin dan fahamkan. 

cuma seorang hamba Allah,

Wednesday, June 1, 2016

2016. 27. Married.

Hello there.

Its 2016. And here's the long overdue story.

I was married last year on 6.6.2015. Yawn. Its almost a year in a few days and here i am writing about the big event of my life. BIG YAWN.

The thing is, i might give birth to our first baby anytime soon hence the wedding story. Because who might know my kids might read this entry one day and they might ask where's the wedding story. (so perasan)

With one lafaz of Akad, i am a wife to this gentleman name Mr. N. (I'll post up his picture right after this. He deserve that much acknowledgment to be by my side till death do us part)

I met him through my parents and we get to know each other for about a year before we decided to get married (although he did proposed me after 3 days of getting to know each other). And then he flew to UK for his master studies and i was completing my second degree. So basically we only see each other twice before he was departed. And for the whole one year of getting to know each other, It was a long distance relationship. Because of the time differences and busy schedule, we only get to text each other on weekend and because of my 'poyo' request to jaga the adab and everything he only called me once a month.

For that one year, there was so many ups and down between us (well most of it was because of me!) I feel like my life was so complicated and that i am not ready to handle a man in my life (so drama) but above all of my attitude, he was so patient and loyal towards me. He never retract his proposal despite everything that i ever said or done to him (so baik la this guy).

So when he finally came back from his study, we did make prior arrangement to meet at the KLIA and i was so nervous i suspect there was a big fat elephant thumping in my stomach. Meeting him once again after a year communicating through text only really is a weird thing (in a good way). I feel like all those one year was vanish away and that day was the first day we really get to know each other. Like a blind date kinda feeling (although i never been to one before). We were so awkward and we don't know what to say to each other.

After some time, he tried to break the ice and make a conversation. It went well. He gave me a lot of beautiful stuff he bought throughout that one year and collect it all to give it to me that day. (And of course the insensitive me have nothing to give back to him not even a welcome home card! SIGH)

That day went so well and when its time for him to take the flight home ( he already bought flight ticket to hometown that same day so we spend  time only in between his flight schedule) i already feel attached to him. So again, we separated to a different city.

After that he was busy with finding job and I was busy with my Chambering (9 month internship to be advocates and solicitors) and we only get to see each other when he came to KL and believe it or not we never really had a proper date where i get to wear nice outfit and make up ( i really hope we have time to do that again).

On Janury 2015, at the end of my 9 month Chambering, the marriage proposal came again. And this time it was my father who brought that up (LOL thanks Dad). This time around i really don't have anymore reason to say no as i've already graduated and have proper job. So it's a YES. Once again we met each other as requested by our parents to discuss the date for marriage (that night his family came to my house for proper discussion). He came with that small 'kalendar cina' and highlighted to me all the proposed date (i can't stop laughing thinking about that) and we decided 6.6.2015 (he's so keen towards nice number arrangement).

That night, i was engaged to him. Although it was only a mere gathering to discuss our relationship but his family came with a ring ( and i am so not ready for an engagement ceremony i wore only tudung sarung and plain jubah. LOL). We only have less than 6 month to prepare for the wedding and as i am working in KL and only went back home occasionally it was my dear Mom who arrange for everything (Love you Mom!) and i only went back home 3 days before the wedding.

Alhamdulillah everything went well. The akad nikah was in the morning of 6.6.2015 and we had our reception that same night. And because we were both from the same hometown we had a combine wedding for both family. It was so crowded i cant even remember exactly who came to hug me the entire night and i was so hungry during the event but i can't eat that much (blame the tight corset. women's issue!)

And of course my 3 bff came to the wedding as my bridesmaid (big hugs girls!) and most of my classmates in school and university also came that night and it was a very beautiful event meeting up everyone after some time.

That was one year ago. Our Anniversary is coming in 4 days. How times flies. Being a wife to Mr. N is the best decision i ever made.

P/S: We might not be a perfect person but we were perfect for each other =)

Lots of love,